Networking is just that – working. Networking is not a passive activity. When you go to a networking event, it is not a time to kick your feet up and relax. You should go with the mindset that you are about to do some work.
In this three part series, I am going to share some strategies that have helped me to build my network. I must preface this by saying; by nature, I am shy and introverted. If I had my preferences, I could go days without speaking to anyone outside of my immediate family and friends. However, if you ask anyone that has ever seen me at a networking event, they would swear that I am lying. That is becasue to be successful it is essential that I build a strong network.
Step 1: Build on your natural network. Ask yourself, “Who do I know?” Many times, we overlook the people closest to us because we assume that they know what we do and if they need us, they will contact us. The truth is – a lot of your closest family and friends have no clue about what you do or what you can do for them. Rather than trying to “sell” them, you should inform or educate them about your product/service. They may not need you now but they may in the future and your chances have increased that you may be the person that they consider for the job.
Also, consider taking family or friends to events with you. They may be able to introduce you to someone that they never would have thought could be an asset to your team. It may also help to ease some anxiety for you to know at least one person in the room. The key to this strategy is not spending the evening talking to the person that you know.
Step 2: Make sure the relationship is mutually beneficial because everyone wants to know what is in it for them. If you can’t think of anything that they will get out of it, they may not be a good person to add to your team. There are some selfless people in the world that will help you out of the kindness of their heart but you should make it a Best Practice to go into situations looking for a win-win. This will make you someone that people want to work with again in the future.
Networking is about building relationships. You can not be successful if you go to events, give everyone your business card then sit back and wait for the phone to start ringing off the hook. People give money and do business with people that they know, to their friends.
Come back and learn the next steps in the art of networking…
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Communication is Key
I've been reading a lot of posts on facebook about relationships and dealing with some communication issues in my own life and I have come to the conclusion that nothing matters in a relationship if you can not communicate with the other person.
When communicating you have to realize that it isn't just about the words but your tone, your non verbal signals and sometimes even your timing can have an affect on your message.
I've noticed that there are some people who feel like they like can say whatever they please and wonder why they get the reactions that they get. What they fail to realize is the power of their words and message. When you are constantly putting negative energy into the world and aiming it toward people, it is not possible that you will receive positive energy. You may have friends that will go along with what you are saying but how seriously do you think they are going to take you. They will not view you as a positive force in their life rather as means of entertainment.
Now...I got this from Dr. Phil but he says you can tell a relationship is over when people begin to engage in character assassination. This is when you are not dealing with whatever issue is on the table and start to focus on saying mean things about the person. You see, once you reach that point it is hard to recover because those hurtful words will stick in their head. When communicating about an issue, especially when you don't agree, it is best to stick to the issue. Don't focus on what the other person has done, rather talk about how you feel, how the issue has effected you. Then you have to be open to listening to how the other person feels. You can not force people to feel a certain way and you can not judge their feelings as right or wrong. Everyone is entitled to their feelings. If you are not willing to listen and hear the other person out, you should ask yourself how much you really care about this person.
No matter what type of relationship you are in, you have to be willing to communicate. You have to be open, honest and willing to listen. Not every conversation that you want to have will occur when you want it to so be patient. Communication is the key to building and sustaining a successful relationship with family, friends, coworkers and everyone else in your life. Not having an effective way to communicate with others will make it difficult for you to have healthy relationships.
When communicating you have to realize that it isn't just about the words but your tone, your non verbal signals and sometimes even your timing can have an affect on your message.
I've noticed that there are some people who feel like they like can say whatever they please and wonder why they get the reactions that they get. What they fail to realize is the power of their words and message. When you are constantly putting negative energy into the world and aiming it toward people, it is not possible that you will receive positive energy. You may have friends that will go along with what you are saying but how seriously do you think they are going to take you. They will not view you as a positive force in their life rather as means of entertainment.
Now...I got this from Dr. Phil but he says you can tell a relationship is over when people begin to engage in character assassination. This is when you are not dealing with whatever issue is on the table and start to focus on saying mean things about the person. You see, once you reach that point it is hard to recover because those hurtful words will stick in their head. When communicating about an issue, especially when you don't agree, it is best to stick to the issue. Don't focus on what the other person has done, rather talk about how you feel, how the issue has effected you. Then you have to be open to listening to how the other person feels. You can not force people to feel a certain way and you can not judge their feelings as right or wrong. Everyone is entitled to their feelings. If you are not willing to listen and hear the other person out, you should ask yourself how much you really care about this person.
No matter what type of relationship you are in, you have to be willing to communicate. You have to be open, honest and willing to listen. Not every conversation that you want to have will occur when you want it to so be patient. Communication is the key to building and sustaining a successful relationship with family, friends, coworkers and everyone else in your life. Not having an effective way to communicate with others will make it difficult for you to have healthy relationships.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Relationships are like finding a good outfit
When I worked in retail, it would frustrate me to no end when a woman would come in, find the perfect dress/outfit and say, "I love it! But I am going to keep looking."
Did this mean that she really didn't love it or that she was convinced that she would find something that she loved more?
Lately, I have been thinking that this happens in relationships also. You find the right person, everything is going well with the exception of a few hick-ups (but you are going to have them with anyone, human nature) and instead of you committing, you decide to keep looking.
I am convinced that as long as you live, there will always be someone more attractive than your mate, there will be someone smarter, better in bed and probably even more romantic. What you have to realize and accept is that this person is here now and they obviously want to be with you also. This ultimate person who embodies all of your qualities in the perfect portions, may or may not exist.
Just like the shopper, yeah, there may be a better outfit but at what cost - financially and time wise. Imagine if you made the committment to what is in front of you. Accept that this is what is for you and continue moving forward with your life. You are free to pursue other interests with the time you were spending trying to find perfection.
After some of those women left my store, I wondered if they found that more perfect dress. Some of them came back and were lucky enough to find their previous selection waiting for them while others were not so lucky. How many of you have been in that situation? You walked away hoping to find something better only to realize how great what you had before was. Sometimes we spend so much time focusing on what is missing that we forget about all of things that we do have.
In the movie "Why Did I Get Married" they discuss the 80/20 rule. I think this is applicable in many of life's situations espeically relationships. You are not satisfied with your 80% but end up leaving it for 20%.
This is not to say that you should settle for less than you deserve but don't get so caught up in the little things that you miss the greatness being offered...
Did this mean that she really didn't love it or that she was convinced that she would find something that she loved more?
Lately, I have been thinking that this happens in relationships also. You find the right person, everything is going well with the exception of a few hick-ups (but you are going to have them with anyone, human nature) and instead of you committing, you decide to keep looking.
I am convinced that as long as you live, there will always be someone more attractive than your mate, there will be someone smarter, better in bed and probably even more romantic. What you have to realize and accept is that this person is here now and they obviously want to be with you also. This ultimate person who embodies all of your qualities in the perfect portions, may or may not exist.
Just like the shopper, yeah, there may be a better outfit but at what cost - financially and time wise. Imagine if you made the committment to what is in front of you. Accept that this is what is for you and continue moving forward with your life. You are free to pursue other interests with the time you were spending trying to find perfection.
After some of those women left my store, I wondered if they found that more perfect dress. Some of them came back and were lucky enough to find their previous selection waiting for them while others were not so lucky. How many of you have been in that situation? You walked away hoping to find something better only to realize how great what you had before was. Sometimes we spend so much time focusing on what is missing that we forget about all of things that we do have.
In the movie "Why Did I Get Married" they discuss the 80/20 rule. I think this is applicable in many of life's situations espeically relationships. You are not satisfied with your 80% but end up leaving it for 20%.
This is not to say that you should settle for less than you deserve but don't get so caught up in the little things that you miss the greatness being offered...
Saturday, May 30, 2009
i AM enough
Tough times don't last always I told myself through a haze of tears. This is the last time I am giving my heart away. For what I thought. What do I ever get in return aside from tear stained sheets and another notch on my belt. God knows I'm not that sex crazed that I can't do without.
What is it about me that craves male companionship? I am enough. That's what Oprah and her psychologist lady tell me everyday. They say that the reason I keep making bad decisions is because somewhere in my childhood I was told or heard from somebody, or something like that, that I wasn't enough. I have an idea where that thought could have come from but I thought I was past all of that. I thought I had moved on. Wasn't just acknowledging it the first step. How many stairs do I have to climb? I must have been watching Judge Judy when Oprah and 'em starting talking about that part because I sure missed it.
I am enough. Well, why am I still crying like a baby? Why can't I just let go? Oh, if I had a nickel for every time someone told me how cold hearted and icy and difficult to get close to I was; let's just I would be shopping my pain away.
Well, if you don't like it, keep it moving and lose my number. I ain't ready to get all thawed out and turn my heart to mush so you can stomp on it even harder. If it hurts this bad being frozen… damn, I can't even imagine… I'm not even going to think about that.
I deserve to be loved because of who I am, not in spite of who I am. I don't need anybody pointing out all of my flaws. My name is not Jesus the Christ. I was not sent here to save mankind from their sins. I pray for forgiveness every night because I know that I mess up. I try my hardest. Maybe I am just inherently bad.
Whatever, there is nothing wrong with me that isn't wrong with everyone else. I have my moments, but who doesn't? And who doesn't deserve to be loved in spite of those moments? Did he think he was so perfect? Just because I didn't keep a list or run shouting from the roof tops every time he did something wrong, that does not mean he was perfect. It just meant I loved the crazy in him as much as the sane. Who's going to love my crazy? It's not that bad. I don't beat 'em, don't cuss 'em, don't really cheat on 'em… I just can't open up all quick and sappy like.
Yep, heard this story before. Probably typed it in my head a couple of times. This is just the first time I can sit and look at the words and ponder what's really going on. Was he right? Do I need to change? On the one hand, I say yes but then I think this is just a control mechanism designed to lull me into submission. I am not that chick. I am feisty. I speak my mind. I like control. I know what I want, and I go for it. I am enough. I don't need to change. Change my number maybe. Not even that. I am who I am; my number is what it is. We are here to stay.
Who says I am not enough? Who says I don't deserve love? Tell it to my face. You come right here and tell it to my face. Because I deserve to be loved because of who I am, not in spite of who I am. I will not settle for less because I am enough.
What is it about me that craves male companionship? I am enough. That's what Oprah and her psychologist lady tell me everyday. They say that the reason I keep making bad decisions is because somewhere in my childhood I was told or heard from somebody, or something like that, that I wasn't enough. I have an idea where that thought could have come from but I thought I was past all of that. I thought I had moved on. Wasn't just acknowledging it the first step. How many stairs do I have to climb? I must have been watching Judge Judy when Oprah and 'em starting talking about that part because I sure missed it.
I am enough. Well, why am I still crying like a baby? Why can't I just let go? Oh, if I had a nickel for every time someone told me how cold hearted and icy and difficult to get close to I was; let's just I would be shopping my pain away.
Well, if you don't like it, keep it moving and lose my number. I ain't ready to get all thawed out and turn my heart to mush so you can stomp on it even harder. If it hurts this bad being frozen… damn, I can't even imagine… I'm not even going to think about that.
I deserve to be loved because of who I am, not in spite of who I am. I don't need anybody pointing out all of my flaws. My name is not Jesus the Christ. I was not sent here to save mankind from their sins. I pray for forgiveness every night because I know that I mess up. I try my hardest. Maybe I am just inherently bad.
Whatever, there is nothing wrong with me that isn't wrong with everyone else. I have my moments, but who doesn't? And who doesn't deserve to be loved in spite of those moments? Did he think he was so perfect? Just because I didn't keep a list or run shouting from the roof tops every time he did something wrong, that does not mean he was perfect. It just meant I loved the crazy in him as much as the sane. Who's going to love my crazy? It's not that bad. I don't beat 'em, don't cuss 'em, don't really cheat on 'em… I just can't open up all quick and sappy like.
Yep, heard this story before. Probably typed it in my head a couple of times. This is just the first time I can sit and look at the words and ponder what's really going on. Was he right? Do I need to change? On the one hand, I say yes but then I think this is just a control mechanism designed to lull me into submission. I am not that chick. I am feisty. I speak my mind. I like control. I know what I want, and I go for it. I am enough. I don't need to change. Change my number maybe. Not even that. I am who I am; my number is what it is. We are here to stay.
Who says I am not enough? Who says I don't deserve love? Tell it to my face. You come right here and tell it to my face. Because I deserve to be loved because of who I am, not in spite of who I am. I will not settle for less because I am enough.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Don't You Wish
Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was A Bitch Like Me?
Of course you do. I'm so sick of guys faking like they want a nice girl. Forget nice guys finishing last - nice girls don't even get to enter the contest. Why fake it? Who are you trying to fool? If you want someone cursing you out and checking your pockets all of the time, then just say that. If you want us to be high maintenance and spend all of your money, then stop lying. Stop telling your friends and your family that you just can't find a good girl. You're not looking. You want the girl who is going to question your every move and check up on you and your friends everywhere that you go. You seek out the female who could care less about what you are interested in and forces you to drop everything that you ever cared about to become the man of her dreams. And as soon as you do, she is going to dump you... then you are going to realize that she is your soul mate and that you all should get married and live miserably ever after. Naturally, you're going to swear that it's the sex that keeps you going back for more but we all know that it's the attitude that has you whipped. I've seen it too many times for it not to be true.
I'm starting to figure out the guy/relationship issue. At first, I believed the old adage that the way to a guy's heart was through his stomach. My friend, Lena was always bragging about how her cooking kept her man coming home every night. At first, I thought she was full of shit, but I learned how to cook. Now I can whip up a meal including dessert - from scratch - in no time flat. Still no guy. Oh, they come over to eat but what Lena didn't tell me is that after they eat it's all about going back out to meet up with their boys or running to the store that's fifteen minutes away but coming back four hours later. You obviously feel that we are making all of this effort because we have so much free time on our hands. Um, no. This is a blatant attempt to prove to you that we are willing to be a wifey and create a home for you. But you seem to think that since the food is good and I have the time to put into such effort something has to be wrong with me for wanting to stay home and cook a good meal instead of going out to restaurants every night.
Well, that doesn't stop me from cooking because I love to eat but I've learned to give a guy what he really wants. The opportunity to take me out as often as possible. That way we can spend hours at the restaurant and I don't have to worry about you spending all of your time and money hanging out with the fellas. You want to spend all of your money? Go right ahead. I will make it my duty to help you with that.
My next mistake? I thought that if we liked the same things - like sports and cars - we would be building a foundation for our future. I guess I got too good for my own good because I soon realized that guys don't want you to know more about anything than they do. As if a penis makes you the smartest person in the room. I looked around and noticed that all the girls with boyfriends were the ones dragging their man to Pier One to pick out chairs and pillows or to mall to hold their bags on Sundays instead of sitting home in front of the TV with a beer watching the game. Any girl that can drink a beer and watch the game... something has to be wrong with her.
Next I thought that maybe guys really do like their space.. you know that you want to go out with the fellas and not have to check your phone every fifteen minutes. Wrong again. Apparently, this freedom somehow implies that I don't care about you. The only way that I can really show you how much I care about you is to check up on you and check your pockets for phone numbers every time you come home because you are such a good catch that every girl in the bar is giving you her number. Yep, once again the girls with the boyfriends are the ones constantly dialing their man's number because she cares so much. It's no secret that men can't be trusted but do I really have to treat you like a teenager and become your mother in order to be your girlfriend? Do you think I have no life? That I don't want to go out and enjoy myself. I want to be in a relationship with an adult. I will never fully trust you but at least let me pretend like you're trust worthy. I'll give you enough rope to hang yourself because guys are terrible liars. A few strategic questions when you get home will tell me all that I need to know.
But fellas, beware, when your girl stops stressing you about where you been and what you been doing, that's a recipe for trouble. It usually means that she's found her own trouble to get into and is no longer concerned about what you have going on. My friend Diane used to argue with her boyfriend about where he was going, who he was going with, what he was going to do when he got there, what time he was coming back. Then she just stopped. He was relieved because he thought she was finally trusting him and allowing him to be a man and go out and handle his business. Little did he know, she was out handling her business - with someone else. She wasn't asking him all of those questions because she didn't want him asking her the same questions. She wasn't calling all of the time because she was spending that time with someone who wanted to be with her instead of with his boys.
The last straw in my figuring was thinking that a guy actually wants a partner. Boy was I wrong! Again! Guys don't want partners. You want a boss. Someone to give you orders to follow and lay into you when you make a mistake. See in my disillusion I thought that a relationship was about making decisions together and talking about things. What was wrong with me? Every time I ask a guy for his opinion about something important in my life (not that it would sway my decision one way or the other), I get the same dumb answers - Whatever you want to do or I don't know. Well, duh!! Of course it's whatever I want to do because it's my life but as the person sharing my life wouldn't you want to be considered when the decision is being made. Not really. You would rather complain when the decision is made without you that I don't care about your opinion and that I'm just too independent. But that makes you happy because you saved yourself from having to listen to the situation and put some thought into an actual solution. It works for me because I like being the boss.
Just don't think I'm going to be one of those girls that lets you pretend to be in control because you have to pay to play. If you can't put in the time then don't think you are going to take the credit. Don't try to play me in front of your boys as if you're doing so much when I'm making sure that your business is in order. Before you met me, you couldn't get a popsicle on credit. Now that I'm paying your bills - with your money, of course - you can actually go to the dealership and get a car in your name and your cell phone doesn't have to be in your mama's name anymore. Don't get it twisted though because while I was getting all of your business in order, I was also setting all of your passwords and creating all of your secret questions. Some of that you may not understand what it means in the grand scheme of things but it would seem that you would want to become a little more involved in our affairs. Trust me, I like being in charge and I have no problem taking charge but you better be on your p's and q's cause it can turn into a really bad look for you.
So what conclusion did I come to from studying the dating mentality of guys - besides a guy will say any and every thing to get into my panties? I figured out what a guy really wants. He wants a younger version of his mother. Someone to treat him like he's still in high school and make all of his life decisions for him, make sure he makes it home by curfew, checks up on him to make sure he's not out making any stupid mistakes and drag him everywhere I go to further make sure he's not making any stupid mistakes. Guys realize that they can't be trusted and that happiness can only truly exist on a very very short leash.
I've managed to make a few compromises.
I don't feel bad when I make dinner and don't make enough for you. Oh well. Let's go out and get something for you to eat and I will have a couple of drinks while we're there.
And yes, I love football but don't expect me to sit around with you and your friends watching the game. I would rather go to bar with my girls and talk about how good the guys look and which ones could get it and enjoy the free drinks from the guys in the bar that can appreciate females interested in sports. And when I'm done, I will come back and let you take me shopping and you can wave good-bye to your friends like a sad little puppy when I drag you away from all of the fun.
But you won't have to worry about me calling and checking up on you because either I will be out with my friends having too much fun to care what you're doing or you're going to be with me. That way if some chick is trying to give you her number, I can check her - in person.
If you find someone else willing to deal with you and all of your issues then I will pack you up and send you to her... express mail. Just don't expect me to write those passwords and secret questions on a postcard.
I'm not concerned because you will find yourself wishing your new girl was a bitch like me because that's what really makes you happy.
Of course you do. I'm so sick of guys faking like they want a nice girl. Forget nice guys finishing last - nice girls don't even get to enter the contest. Why fake it? Who are you trying to fool? If you want someone cursing you out and checking your pockets all of the time, then just say that. If you want us to be high maintenance and spend all of your money, then stop lying. Stop telling your friends and your family that you just can't find a good girl. You're not looking. You want the girl who is going to question your every move and check up on you and your friends everywhere that you go. You seek out the female who could care less about what you are interested in and forces you to drop everything that you ever cared about to become the man of her dreams. And as soon as you do, she is going to dump you... then you are going to realize that she is your soul mate and that you all should get married and live miserably ever after. Naturally, you're going to swear that it's the sex that keeps you going back for more but we all know that it's the attitude that has you whipped. I've seen it too many times for it not to be true.
I'm starting to figure out the guy/relationship issue. At first, I believed the old adage that the way to a guy's heart was through his stomach. My friend, Lena was always bragging about how her cooking kept her man coming home every night. At first, I thought she was full of shit, but I learned how to cook. Now I can whip up a meal including dessert - from scratch - in no time flat. Still no guy. Oh, they come over to eat but what Lena didn't tell me is that after they eat it's all about going back out to meet up with their boys or running to the store that's fifteen minutes away but coming back four hours later. You obviously feel that we are making all of this effort because we have so much free time on our hands. Um, no. This is a blatant attempt to prove to you that we are willing to be a wifey and create a home for you. But you seem to think that since the food is good and I have the time to put into such effort something has to be wrong with me for wanting to stay home and cook a good meal instead of going out to restaurants every night.
Well, that doesn't stop me from cooking because I love to eat but I've learned to give a guy what he really wants. The opportunity to take me out as often as possible. That way we can spend hours at the restaurant and I don't have to worry about you spending all of your time and money hanging out with the fellas. You want to spend all of your money? Go right ahead. I will make it my duty to help you with that.
My next mistake? I thought that if we liked the same things - like sports and cars - we would be building a foundation for our future. I guess I got too good for my own good because I soon realized that guys don't want you to know more about anything than they do. As if a penis makes you the smartest person in the room. I looked around and noticed that all the girls with boyfriends were the ones dragging their man to Pier One to pick out chairs and pillows or to mall to hold their bags on Sundays instead of sitting home in front of the TV with a beer watching the game. Any girl that can drink a beer and watch the game... something has to be wrong with her.
Next I thought that maybe guys really do like their space.. you know that you want to go out with the fellas and not have to check your phone every fifteen minutes. Wrong again. Apparently, this freedom somehow implies that I don't care about you. The only way that I can really show you how much I care about you is to check up on you and check your pockets for phone numbers every time you come home because you are such a good catch that every girl in the bar is giving you her number. Yep, once again the girls with the boyfriends are the ones constantly dialing their man's number because she cares so much. It's no secret that men can't be trusted but do I really have to treat you like a teenager and become your mother in order to be your girlfriend? Do you think I have no life? That I don't want to go out and enjoy myself. I want to be in a relationship with an adult. I will never fully trust you but at least let me pretend like you're trust worthy. I'll give you enough rope to hang yourself because guys are terrible liars. A few strategic questions when you get home will tell me all that I need to know.
But fellas, beware, when your girl stops stressing you about where you been and what you been doing, that's a recipe for trouble. It usually means that she's found her own trouble to get into and is no longer concerned about what you have going on. My friend Diane used to argue with her boyfriend about where he was going, who he was going with, what he was going to do when he got there, what time he was coming back. Then she just stopped. He was relieved because he thought she was finally trusting him and allowing him to be a man and go out and handle his business. Little did he know, she was out handling her business - with someone else. She wasn't asking him all of those questions because she didn't want him asking her the same questions. She wasn't calling all of the time because she was spending that time with someone who wanted to be with her instead of with his boys.
The last straw in my figuring was thinking that a guy actually wants a partner. Boy was I wrong! Again! Guys don't want partners. You want a boss. Someone to give you orders to follow and lay into you when you make a mistake. See in my disillusion I thought that a relationship was about making decisions together and talking about things. What was wrong with me? Every time I ask a guy for his opinion about something important in my life (not that it would sway my decision one way or the other), I get the same dumb answers - Whatever you want to do or I don't know. Well, duh!! Of course it's whatever I want to do because it's my life but as the person sharing my life wouldn't you want to be considered when the decision is being made. Not really. You would rather complain when the decision is made without you that I don't care about your opinion and that I'm just too independent. But that makes you happy because you saved yourself from having to listen to the situation and put some thought into an actual solution. It works for me because I like being the boss.
Just don't think I'm going to be one of those girls that lets you pretend to be in control because you have to pay to play. If you can't put in the time then don't think you are going to take the credit. Don't try to play me in front of your boys as if you're doing so much when I'm making sure that your business is in order. Before you met me, you couldn't get a popsicle on credit. Now that I'm paying your bills - with your money, of course - you can actually go to the dealership and get a car in your name and your cell phone doesn't have to be in your mama's name anymore. Don't get it twisted though because while I was getting all of your business in order, I was also setting all of your passwords and creating all of your secret questions. Some of that you may not understand what it means in the grand scheme of things but it would seem that you would want to become a little more involved in our affairs. Trust me, I like being in charge and I have no problem taking charge but you better be on your p's and q's cause it can turn into a really bad look for you.
So what conclusion did I come to from studying the dating mentality of guys - besides a guy will say any and every thing to get into my panties? I figured out what a guy really wants. He wants a younger version of his mother. Someone to treat him like he's still in high school and make all of his life decisions for him, make sure he makes it home by curfew, checks up on him to make sure he's not out making any stupid mistakes and drag him everywhere I go to further make sure he's not making any stupid mistakes. Guys realize that they can't be trusted and that happiness can only truly exist on a very very short leash.
I've managed to make a few compromises.
I don't feel bad when I make dinner and don't make enough for you. Oh well. Let's go out and get something for you to eat and I will have a couple of drinks while we're there.
And yes, I love football but don't expect me to sit around with you and your friends watching the game. I would rather go to bar with my girls and talk about how good the guys look and which ones could get it and enjoy the free drinks from the guys in the bar that can appreciate females interested in sports. And when I'm done, I will come back and let you take me shopping and you can wave good-bye to your friends like a sad little puppy when I drag you away from all of the fun.
But you won't have to worry about me calling and checking up on you because either I will be out with my friends having too much fun to care what you're doing or you're going to be with me. That way if some chick is trying to give you her number, I can check her - in person.
If you find someone else willing to deal with you and all of your issues then I will pack you up and send you to her... express mail. Just don't expect me to write those passwords and secret questions on a postcard.
I'm not concerned because you will find yourself wishing your new girl was a bitch like me because that's what really makes you happy.
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